Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
Your idea of foreplay is, "Get in the truck, bitch!"
Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
The cockroaches left you a note saying, "Clean this place up!"
Your girl wears a dress that is strapless and a bra that is not.
You have to wash your hands before going to the bathroom.
Your mom french kisses better than your sister.
On Sunday's people stop by to ask if you're having a yard sale and you're not.
When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with.
Your family tree doesn't fork.
Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother has gotten into a fistfight at a high school sports event.
Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"
You ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You think the best way to keep things cold is to leave 'em in the shade.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her
You think the play The King and I is about Elvis.