Harley Baby's
Blonde Jokes & Funny Stuff
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As most ppl know we are not the brightest ppl in the world in fact when it comes to most things we're quite slow..lol..so here's the "Blonde Page"!...lol..

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

I can't breathe without that

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.
"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.
"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.
"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.
"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"
The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

Bumper Stickers!

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots....I married their king.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

You Know You're A Redneck When...

Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.

Your idea of foreplay is, "Get in the truck, bitch!"

Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

People hear your car a long time before they see it.

The cockroaches left you a note saying, "Clean this place up!"

Your girl wears a dress that is strapless and a bra that is not.

You have to wash your hands before going to the bathroom.

Your mom french kisses better than your sister.

On Sunday's people stop by to ask if you're having a yard sale and you're not.

When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with.

Your family tree doesn't fork.

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your mother has gotten into a fistfight at a high school sports event.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

You ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You think the best way to keep things cold is to leave 'em in the shade.

The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

You think the play The King and I is about Elvis.